Talking to older relatives about insurance scams

The conversation goes best when you present scams as something that targets everyone, ask for the older person's judgment instead of correcting it, and leave with two or three simple rules both of you can keep: check any payment request by calling a number you already know, never pay a stranger with gift cards, crypto or wire transfers, and tell someone before sending money. Pair that with a few quiet safeguards on the accounts, and make sure everyone knows where to report if something goes wrong.

This is a communication guide, not a catalog of scams. Where it names a scam, it is to help you recognize the shape of it. For the mechanics of each one, our guides on how to protect yourself from insurance scams and car insurance phishing, text and call scams go further.

Why this is worth a conversation

The numbers are large, with a caveat about comparing them. The Federal Trade Commission's annual report to Congress on protecting older adults, released October 19, 2026, says reported fraud losses for people 60 and older rose from about $600 million in 2020 to approximately $3 billion in 2025, driven largely by a small number of very large losses. It also reports that older adults lost more than younger adults to several scam types, including tech support, prize and sweepstakes, romance, government impersonation and scams that impersonate friends or family, and that the median loss among people 80 and older was $2,000 (FTC, Oct. 19, 2026).

The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center counts differently. Its 2025 annual report records 201,266 complaints from people 60 and older, $7.748 billion in reported losses (up 59% from 2024), an average loss of $38,500 and 12,444 complainants who lost more than $100,000 (FBI IC3 2025 Internet Crime Report). The two agencies collect different data from different reporters, so the totals are not meant to be added or compared; both show a rising problem that is concentrated in a few very costly cases.

Neither report is specific to car insurance. But the same tactics are used against drivers, because every driver has a policy, a plate, a registration and a toll account for the scammer to pretend to be.

The scams that most often reach older drivers

These are the patterns to know. The "tell" column is what to teach.

The FTC's guidance on family emergency calls adds two points worth sharing. Scammers may use artificial intelligence to clone a loved one's voice from a short audio clip, so a familiar voice is not proof. The FTC's advice is to hang up, then call the relative on a number you already know, and to call another relative or friend even if the caller said to keep it secret (FTC: scammers use fake emergencies).

How to start the conversation

How you open matters more than what you say. A parent who feels tested will defend the decisions they made.

Some opening lines you can adapt:

• "A friend's insurance company texted a link and it turned out to be fake. Can we set up a rule for us, so neither of us has to guess?"
• "If anyone ever calls about your policy and sounds urgent, would you be willing to hang up and call the number on your card? I do that too."
• "I would like to be the person you text before you pay anything unusual, not because you cannot manage it, but because two heads are better when someone is pressuring you."

If the person pushes back, do not argue the facts. Say you will leave it with them and revisit it in a month. Older drivers who are already worried about losing independence, a theme in our guide to insurance decisions for aging drivers and their families, are more likely to listen when the topic is about protecting that independence.

Simple rules that work without taking control

Four rules are enough for most situations, and each is easier to keep if you write it on a card by the phone.

1. The call-back rule. If someone contacts you about insurance, tolls, a ticket or a bank account, end the contact and call the number on your insurance card, your bill or the official website you typed yourself. The FTC's advice on phishing is the same: contact the company "using a phone number or website you know is real," not the one in the message. Put the insurer's real phone number in the contacts list under its name, with the agent's number, so it is one tap away.
2. The pause rule. Nobody legitimate needs payment in the next ten minutes. Wait a day on anything involving money, and tell one person.
3. The payment rule. Insurance companies, motor vehicle agencies and toll agencies do not demand gift cards, cryptocurrency, payment apps or wire transfers. The FTC lists those as the payment methods scammers insist on because they are hard to reverse.
4. The family check. For family emergency calls, hang up and call the relative back. Agree on a question only the real person could answer, as the FTC suggests, or a family code word that is never posted online. A code word is a family habit rather than an official standard, so choose something that cannot be guessed from social media.

Add one more rule if the person pays by mail: use only the official address printed on the bill or the insurer's website.

Safeguards on accounts, done together

Safeguards work best when the older person chooses them. Offer them as options.

• A trusted contact on bank accounts. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's advisory to banks describes a trusted contact as an emergency financial contact who can step in to help protect the account holder, with the holder's written consent, if staff suspect exploitation (CFPB advisory, Nov. 2021). Whether a particular bank or credit union offers one is up to the institution; ask. The contact is someone the bank can reach out to; ask the bank exactly what the designation does and does not allow, since it is not the same as giving that person authority over the account.
• Alerts. Text or email alerts for withdrawals, new payees and large card charges let the older person, and by agreement a relative, see a surprise early.
• Card and transfer limits. Many banks and card issuers let customers set a daily limit or turn off certain transfers. Ask your bank what controls it offers; the options vary.
• Autopay for the insurance premium. If the policy is paid automatically from an account, a message saying "your payment failed" is easier to recognize as false. Check the insurer's website or app for how autopay works before relying on it.
• A one-page list. Keep the insurer's phone number, the policy number, the agent's name, the bank's fraud line and the renewal month in one place, such as a folder or a note on the refrigerator. Add the state insurance department's number. Texas's department, for example, says you can check an agent's or company's license status by calling its help line or visiting its website (Texas Department of Insurance); other states offer similar lookups.
• Paper and phone. Ask the insurer whether the relative can be added as a person it may speak to about the policy. That varies by company.

Do not hold the passwords yourself unless the person asks you to and you both understand why; a shared account that fails the older person's trust can create new problems.

If they have already paid: what to do and how to say it

Start with the tone: "This happens to smart people. Let's fix what we can." Then move quickly, because speed matters more than details.

1. Stop further payments. Ask whether the scammer has contact details, remote access to a device or account numbers. If so, treat those as compromised.
2. Contact the payment provider immediately. The FTC's guidance depends on the method (FTC: what to do if you were scammed): - credit or debit card: call the issuer on the back of the card and ask for a refund; - wire transfer: report it to the wire company at once and ask for a refund; - gift card: contact the issuer, using the number on the card, and keep the card and receipt; - cryptocurrency: contact the exchange or ATM operator; the FTC warns that recovery can be hard; - bank transfer or payment app: report it to the bank or app immediately; - cash by mail: contact the U.S. Postal Inspection Service at 1-877-876-2455 immediately.
3. Report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. For an older adult, the FBI's IC3 also takes complaints, and you can report an insurance-related scam to the state insurance department.
4. Call a helpline for guidance. The AARP Fraud Watch Network helpline is 877-908-3360, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern; it offers guidance and support but not investigation or recovery (AARP). The Justice Department's National Elder Fraud Hotline, 833-372-8311, is a free resource for reporting fraud against someone 60 or older, Monday to Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern, where a case manager helps with reporting at federal, state and local levels (Office for Victims of Crime). Hours and numbers can change; confirm on the agency's page.
5. Watch for the second wave. The FTC calls recovery scams "the worst of the worst: scams that target people who have already lost money to a scam." Anyone who asks for an upfront fee to get money back is a scammer. The Office for Victims of Crime also warns that scammers pose as hotline staff and threaten lawsuits; do not give personal information or money in response.
6. Change what was exposed. New card numbers, new passwords, a fraud alert or credit freeze where Social Security numbers were shared, and a call to the real insurer about the policy.
7. If a fake policy was bought, assume the car is uninsured and arrange real coverage right away. Our guide to how to report insurance fraud covers reporting and the state's response.

Red flags that a financial decision problem is something more

Occasional mistakes are normal. A pattern is different. The Alzheimer's Association distinguishes between signs of dementia and typical age-related change: trouble "keeping track of monthly bills" and "poor judgment when dealing with money" are listed as signs, while "occasionally missing a monthly payment" or making "a bad decision once in a while" are described as typical (Alzheimer's Association).

Things worth noting, and not by themselves a diagnosis:

• unopened mail or unpaid bills where there used to be none;
• the policy lapsing or being cancelled without the person understanding why;
• new payees, repeated gift card or cash-withdrawal purchases, or money sent to people the family does not know;
• secrecy or irritation about a call, and a new "friend" who calls often;
• repeated purchases of the same item, or items arriving that no one remembers ordering;
• a sudden change to a will, power of attorney or a beneficiary, or a change in who manages the accounts.

If you see a pattern, the next step is a conversation about a medical visit, not about a scam. A doctor can evaluate memory and thinking, and a licensed elder-law attorney can explain tools such as a power of attorney that the person puts in place while able to choose. Reporting suspicion of exploitation can go to your area's adult protective services and to the person's bank. If the pattern also affects driving, our articles on family liability when an older relative keeps driving and physician reporting and medical review for older drivers discuss what comes next.

A worked example

Say your father, 78, gets a text that says his auto policy will be cancelled in 24 hours unless he pays $412 through a link. He calls you. You say, "Do not click. Let's check." You open his insurance card, call the number on it and ask the insurer whether anything is due. It is not. You forward the text to 7726, the number the FTC lists for reporting spam texts, and report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. Then you tell him how well the call-back rule worked and add the insurer's number to his phone under its name. The whole thing took ten minutes, he stayed in charge, and the next message he gets will already look familiar.

Now suppose he had paid. You would run the steps in the previous section: call his bank, ask for a refund, report it, change what was shared and warn him about recovery calls. In both cases the outcome depends mostly on how quickly he told someone.

Common questions

How do I bring this up without sounding like I think they are losing it?

Describe scams as something that works on professionals, and make the first rule one you will follow too. The call-back rule applies to everyone.

Should I take over their bills?

Not unless they ask, or a pattern of missed payments makes it necessary. Start with alerts and a trusted contact on accounts, which leave them in control. If you do take on tasks, do it with written consent from the person and, for formal authority, a licensed attorney.

What if they do not believe it is a scam?

Offer to make a call together to the official number. Do not argue about the caller; check the claim. If money is at risk and they insist, ask them to wait one day.

Is it worth reporting a scam that did not cost them anything?

Yes. The FTC says reports help it build cases and spot trends, and a text can be forwarded to 7726 in seconds. For an insurance scam, your state insurance department also collects reports.

Key takeaways

• Raise the topic as a shared project, ask for their judgment and leave with two or three simple rules, such as call back on a known number and no gift cards, crypto or wire transfers.
• The common scams aimed at drivers copy insurers, tolls, refunds and license agencies; the tell is urgency and an odd payment method.
• Quiet safeguards help: a trusted contact, account alerts, limits and a one-page list of real phone numbers.
• If they have paid, act the same day by payment method, report it, avoid recovery offers and treat it without blame.
• A pattern of unpaid bills, lapsed policies and unexplained payments is a reason to talk about a medical visit and legal planning, not just scams.